LITERARY QUOTES.: westhomehandyman
The things we know best are the things we haven't been taught. - Marquis de Vauvenargues |
When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. - Marquis de la Grange |
Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes. - Edgard Varese |
Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty. - Leo Rosten |
The cure for writer's cramp is writer's block. - Inigo DeLeon |
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. - Dr. Seuss |
It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument. - William G. McAdoo |
We're not lost. We're locationally challenged. - John M. Ford |
Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen. - Ambrose Bierce |
People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news. - AJ Liebling |
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer |
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. - Rodney Dangerfield |
A neurosis is a secret that you don't know you are keeping. - Kenneth Tynan |
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore |
Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone. - Tommy Cooper |
We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police. - Jeff Marder |
The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself. - Oscar Wilde |
Virtue is its own punishment. - Aneurin Bevan |
If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done. - Ludwig Wittgenstein |
Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. - James M. Barrie |
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson |
Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus |
Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself. - Peter da Silva |
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible. - George Burns |
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before. - Dwight D. Eisenhower |
No wise man ever wished to be younger. - Jonathan Swift |
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. - Wendell Johnson |
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith |
Never have children, only grandchildren. - Gore Vidal |
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature. - Kin Hubbard |
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. - George Carlin |
Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age. - William Feather |
When two men in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary. - William Wrigley Jr. |
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is. - Chuck Reid |
A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance. - Anatole France |
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. - Jules Renard |
The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer. - Henry Kissinger |
Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to? - Clarence Darrow |
Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it. - Soren Kierkegaard |
We think in generalities, but we live in detail. - Alfred North Whitehead |
When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.' - Theodore Roosevelt |
Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others. - Jonathan Winters |
I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland. - Woody Allen |
My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's. - Oscar Wilde |
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues. - Abraham Lincoln |
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it. - Mary Wilson Little |
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller |
The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him. - Henry Stimson |
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. - Mae West |
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. - Isaac Asimov |
Books to the ceiling,/ Books to the sky,/ My pile of books is a mile high./ How I love them! How I need them!/ I'll have a long beard by the time I read them. - Arnold Lobel |
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. - Robert Frost |
Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art. - Charles McCabe |
If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. - Tallulah Bankhead |
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them. - Mark Twain |
A life of pleasure makes even the strongest mind frivolous at last. - Edward Bulwer-Lytton |
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty. - Sacha Guitry |
Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day. - Unknown |
Art is either plagiarism or revolution. - Paul Gauguin |
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. - Rita Rudner |
I have such poor vision I can date anybody. - Garry Shandling |
Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one. - AJ Liebling |
He is winding the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike. - William Shakespeare |
I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. - Bruce Grocott |
Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other. - Unknown |
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. - Fred Allen |
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. - Dr. Seuss |
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. - Mark Twain |
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates |
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. - Franklin P. Jones |
Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made. - Otto von Bismarck |
Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain each day, expressed in M&Ms: 250 |
- Harper's Index |
Never give a party if you will be the most interesting person there. - Mickey Friedman |
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J. Burke |
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.' - Ronnie Shakes |
Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. - Peter Drucker |
In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable. - Dwight D. Eisenhower |
The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young. - Willa Cather |
I am not young enough to know everything. - Oscar Wilde |
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Sir Winston Churchill |
Politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers |
A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery |
Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address. - Lane Olinghouse |
My Karma ran over your dogma. - Unknown |
Do I contradict myself?/ Very well then I contradict myself,/ (I am large, I contain multitudes.) - Walt Whitman |
You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience. - Stanislaw J. Lec |
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens. - Nick Diamos |
The desire to take medicine is perhaps the greatest feature which distinguishes man from animals. - Sir William Osler |
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein |
Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom. - Soren Kierkegaard |
Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car. - Evan Davis |
Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. - Quentin Crisp |
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles |